A Schitt’s-Creek-Moira-Rose-Gif-Inspired Guide: What Not To Write

Who doesn’t love Moira Rose from sitcom Schitt’s Creek? She’s fashionable (in her own way), possesses a vocabulary even a dictionary can envy, and has one killer wig collection. Let’s take a look at five instances where her reactions are perfect for calling us out on our writerly *peccadillos*. <--a Moira-Rose-ism that requires some Googling.

1. That time we kept hinting at a secret. Over and over and over.

It’s a common writing mistake to think that unleashing a big twist toward our novel’s end is going to bring our readers an amazing experience. We may even keep hinting at the secret, but we reveal nothing new and different upon each mention. Moira would not approve. Hinting at secrets is akin to the writer saying, “Nah, nah, nah, nah. I know something you don’t know!” Which, let’s face it, is perfectly obnoxious. The best story secrets are ones readers don’t fully see coming until they look back and see the author actually placed several new and different clues along the way. In fact, if secrets are set up correctly, the only surprise should be readers wondering how they didn’t see the secret coming all along.

2. That time we said something. And then we said it again. And possibly, again.

Looking for repetition in your story is one of the best ways to clean up your draft and improve pacing. But it can also prevent a reader from saying, “I’ve got it, thanks! You don’t need to tell me that again!” It can be small-scale stuff (mentioning rain over and over or describing Mom’s dress as ruffled every time the dress is mentioned). Or it can be found on a larger scale (If your character is experiencing strong emotions about pretty much anything, be careful not to go overboard about it so the emotion stays potent and more meaningful). Trust your reader to remember what you’ve already said. There’s few things as annoying as a helicopter mom in the form of an author.

3. That time we hurried through a scene because we didn’t want to interrupt.

A mentor of mine used to refer to missed emotional opportunities in scenes as “moments.” Even in high-action scenes, it’s important to sprinkle in hints of how your protagonist is feeling as they process what’s happening. How do readers know the impact the events are having on them both in the moment and as they pertain to their inner arc? Sure, you don’t want to hit the brakes fully and go heavy on feelings. But even a tiny beat as action unfolds can ensure that your reader stays fused with a character’s experience instead of feeling like they’re a bystander who’s watching from a distance.

4. That time we plotted scene after scene of action.

It’s true. You don’t want to drag things out in your novel. And we often hear how “quiet” stories aren’t marketable. But think about the scenes that stay with us as readers and viewers, where characters get the chance to connect with one another and process. To prepare for what’s next. To make sense of what’s just happened. These types of “breather” scenes are needed and are, arguably, what emotionally fuels the higher action scenes. Think of the brief scene in Lord of the Rings (Two Towers) where Sam tells Frodo that there’s good in the world. Or when Sansa Stark tells Arya that the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. Both two-minute scenes are what deliver the emotional meaning when the massive action unfolds directly after them.

5. That time we took “show don’t tell” to the extreme and lost our readers.

We’ve been hearing “show don’t tell” forever. We go crazy with body language and punchy dialogue and use of the objective correlative in hopes of conveying our characters’ emotions. These are good tools. But we often fail to effectively use telling. Telling helps our readers understand how a character is processing events and where their true emotions and thoughts lie. Telling is especially useful for checking in with how scenes are impacting your protagonist’s misbelief. Of course, telling should be succinct, especially if used within scene. Or it can be used as bookends for a scene. It should reveal only what can’t be shown, telling what we would otherwise never figure out on our own, or at least not figure out with certainty. Without effective telling, our readers may not be sure what’s happening inside our characters as the story plays out. Worse, without it, they may not be connecting with our characters.

Never short on wisdom, leave it to Moira Rose to help make our manuscripts *winsome*. Now, let’s revise!

Marissa is a freelance editor and writer. She attempts to put words on a page daily, but her dogs think entertaining and worshipping them are a better use of her time. Marissa is available for editing or author coaching and loves crawling inside her clients’ heads so they can become their own editors. Find out more about Marissa here.